My name is Siobhan Paterson (she/her) and I am a 19-year-old aspiring filmmaker here in Melbourne/Naarm, and right now I am directing a short film I wrote called “Apostasy”. Of course, I could not do it without my most talented crew of fellow filmmakers which includes: Producer Chiara Henger (she/her), First Assistant Director Dillon Gellatly (he/him), DOP and colour corrector Gianluca Intemerato (he/him), Production Designer Solomon Harvey (he/him), Soundie and Editor Sebastian Portelli (he/him), and recently added to the team, Andi Symons (she/her), our composer.

I believe everyone in my crew brings forward something very personal to this project and really understands my vision. Some grew up in Catholic households, some grew up queer, and some grew up both and I am truly grateful to work with all of them.

Which characters resonate most with you?

Objectively, I don’t think I can see myself much in any of the characters. However, both Tula and Kennedy are almost like my children I’ve created. I think for people who read the script, they feel very real. You probably know them in your own personal life. When we were doing auditions, a lot of actors came in and thanked me personally for writing such a script. They would tell me how they had never related to a film so closely before, or that they could see themselves as these characters. So I am very touched and very determined to make this film a good piece of work for them who are often overlooked by representation on screen.

What made you pursue filmmaking?

 I actually didn’t discover my love for filmmaking until much later in high school. We were not offered media as a subject until about grade 10. So when I began taking media class, my mum started bringing home dvd’s from the op-shop to show me. She introduced me to “The Virgin Suicides”, and “Trainspotting” and ironically even “Pulp Fiction” and it blew my mind. I didn’t know you could create films like that. From there on I just became obsessed, and I started watching all those film analysis videos on Youtube and writing terrible scripts and I really couldn't imagine myself doing anything else in life apart from that.

 As a child, I wanted to be a writer, and an artist, and a musician and an actor, and a fashion designer and so on. But what I really think connected me with filmmaking was the idea that it was a medium that combined all those creative elements I already loved and people would watch it. I’ve never been academically amazing, but I believe I’ve found something I’m so passionate about that I can excel in, simply because I love it and it doesn't feel like a chore to study.

I love the premise of the film. What inspired the plotline?

I myself went to a Catholic all-girls school, so there’s a bit of me and my experiences in there, but I’d mainly say I was inspired by my friends and the people I knew. I saw a lot of my peers, perhaps struggling with accepting themselves and their sexuality, in an environment where you could only really be “one type of person”. I think it’s great to see so many people come out straight after high school, but it is also disheartening to know people felt like they had to wait to be out of that environment to truly be themselves.

When writing a film like this that covers such a topic, it is very important that it is done respectfully, but stylistically I cannot set a film in realism.

I was heavily inspired by Darren Aronofsky’s “Black Swan” and Satoshi Kon’s “Perfect Blue”, which both use a double of the protagonist to represent an element about themselves that they are struggling with.

Personally, I find this concept works so well metaphorically and I believed it would pair beautifully with the Catholic imagery I had envisioned.

Who are your favourite directors?

 I find it so hard to pick my favourites. Aesthetically I have always loved Tim Burton's body of work since I was a young child. Again, in highschool I was aesthetically obsessed with Sofia Coppola films. I love Greta Gerwig's writing and the way she writes female characters. I think Jordan Peele is one of the best horror filmmakers of our time. Anything made by Catherine Hardwicke in the 00’s with that Blue filter (I will always recommend “Thirteen” as an underrated film about the female coming-of-age). Satoshi Kon is a Genius. Upcoming young director, Ella Fields on Youtube makes fantastic queer films and is definitely someone to watch. And many, MANY more. The great thing about filmmaking is there are so many people that you can draw inspiration from and there's always upcoming writers and directors with fresh ideas and unique personal experiences to draw from.